Divorce Series Archives | Page 2 of 3

Ten Traps Series – Trap #5

In review, we have pointed out how the family law system unintentionally traps people into making poor decisions and have detailed four of those traps: Trap #1 – distracting people from their life goals into thinking that legal outcomes are goals; Trap #2 – treating divorce as a zero sum game; Trap #3: the system […]

Ten Traps Series – Trap #6

Trap #6: Winning on legal outcomes is most important. Playing a game with someone is fun, win or lose, but it is more fun to win. Evolution selected humans who win and who have a natural desire to prevail, whether in enjoyable activities like tennis or serious activities like battle to the death. The traditional […]

Ten Traps Series – Trap #7

In prior blogs in this series, we wrote about the natural desire to prevail against perceived rivals and the potential use of game theory to understand obstacles in the current legal system as it takes families through separations and divorce. We next focused on how the legal system can trap people into self-defeating patterns of […]

Ten Traps Series – Trap #8

In prior blogs in this series, we wrote about the natural desire to prevail against perceived rivals and the potential use of game theory to understand obstacles in the current legal system as it takes families through separations and divorce. We next focused on how the legal system begins to trap people into self-defeating patterns […]

Ten Traps Series – Trap #9

In prior blogs in this series, we wrote about the natural desire to prevail against perceived rivals and the potential use of game theory to understand obstacles in the current legal system as it takes families through separations and divorce. We next focused on how the legal system can trap people into self-defeating patterns of […]

Ten Traps Series – People Generally Make Good Choices: But They Can Be Trapped

Yes! You might remember Monty Hall and “The Price is Right”. At end the of the show, the contestant who had won the most money was shown three doors, behind two of which were some cheap junk but behind one was a big prize – maybe a fancy car. They were to choose a door […]

Ten Traps Series – Trap #10

In prior blogs in this series, we wrote about the natural desire to prevail against perceived rivals and the potential use of game theory to understand obstacles in the current legal system as it takes families through separation and divorce. We next focused on how the legal system begins to trap people into self-defeating patterns […]

The Psychological Importance of Prevailing

Why do we like to win, whether it is a tennis match or an argument with our spouse? Natural selection favored those who survived and reproduced. One of the ways that humans survived, and thus were able to reproduce, was to prevail. Prevailing meant finding food, warding off predators and winning battles over resources with […]

Divorce Series – Achieving an Amicable Divorce Settlement

We believe that it is fair to say that most family law attorneys and mediators would rather see a case settle than go to litigation. There is a general belief that in most cases, litigation is a sign of failure to settle, but perhaps more importantly, there is a general belief that proceeding to litigation exacerbates […]

Divorce: Winning Isn’t Everything Series – 1. Winning is Better than Losing

There are those who say that “Winning isn’t everything.” Who are they kidding? Everyone wants to win! Ken and Allan play tennis. Tennis is always fun, but winning at tennis is a lot more fun than losing. Allan is a lawyer. Negotiating takes skill, and trying a case in court takes skill. Doing both well […]