Why do we like to win, whether it is a tennis match or an argument with our spouse? Natural selection favored those who survived and reproduced. One of the ways that humans survived, and thus were able to reproduce, was to prevail. Prevailing meant finding food, warding off predators and winning battles over resources with […]
There are those who say that “Winning isn’t everything.” Who are they kidding? Everyone wants to win! Ken and Allan play tennis. Tennis is always fun, but winning at tennis is a lot more fun than losing. Allan is a lawyer. Negotiating takes skill, and trying a case in court takes skill. Doing both well […]
The saying that “It takes two to tango” confronts us with a sad truth. When two people are in ongoing conflict with one another, as is true in many co-parenting relationships, both people are contributing to the conflict. These are called “negative cycles” when an event occurs, and a series of reactions occur by both […]
In Blogs #1 and #2, of this Series, we made the point that part of being human is the desire to be “right” and to win. This is true in any contest. In tennis for example, a player might be excited to be right when predicting the direction the opponent would run. Being right and […]
In Blogs #1 and #2 of this Series, we explored the importance of being right and winning to human beings. In Blog #2, we also pointed out that being right and winning usually serves people well, but in some cases, can lead to self-defeating choices and persisting in efforts that have no end. In Blog […]
In Blogs #1 & #2 of this Series, we focused on the importance of being right and winning in conflicts with others. A conflict is simply a disagreement that does not get resolved easily. Disagreements get resolved easily when one of the two people admits to being wrong or when one of the two people […]
Blogs #1, 2 & 3 of this Series assumed that two co-parents would like to improve their co-parenting relationship and are willing to cooperate to do so. Blogs #4 and 5 assume that one parent would like to make improvements, but has an uncooperative co-parent. For that purpose, we introduced a new Mindset: in Blog […]
This blog is one of a series that focus on the nut we would all like to crack: divorce conflict. Books on divorce, Collaborative Divorce; Cooperative Divorce; and other models in family law have been attempts to move the needle from divorce conflict to amicable divorces. This is because most professionals involved with divorcing parties, especially attorneys […]
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