Divorce Series Archives | Marriage & Divorce

Divorce Series: Parental Alienation – Its Causes and Cures

Parental alienation and Game Theory[1]. When Ken was in private practice, one of his known areas of expertise was “parental alienation”. These were cases in which a child, at a minimum, expressed a desire, or more seriously, had successfully refused, to spend time with one of their parents.[2] In practical terms, this meant Ken serving […]

Divorce Series: Understanding a Sensible Divorce

Introduction and Confused Beliefs In our book, Planning a Sensible Divorce: How to Avoid the Toxic Dance of a Messy Divorce, Ken and Allan make the point that about twenty percent of current divorces are fairly amicable. About another twenty percent involve spouses with mental disorders or conduct problems, such as violence, or both […]

Ten Traps Series – Why Do People Sometimes Make Terrible choices?

Why do people sometimes make choices that are self-defeating? In our recent book, Game Theory and the Transformation of Family Law, Attorney Allan Koritzinsky and Ken Waldron suggest bargaining founded on game theory. But why game theory? Game theory is a branch of mathematics that analyzes how and why people make the choices that they make. […]

Ten Traps Series -Trap # 1

Trap #1: In the traditional family law system, the parties are directed to and often pressured to focus on legal outcomes, not life goals. Legal outcomes are not goals. Legal outcomes should be tools for the parties to reach their goals. If focused on the legal outcome, it makes sense that a property distribution should […]

Ten Traps Series – Trap #2

“What custody schedule do you want?” In a prior blog, we noted that this is a trick question because it distracts people from their life goals and focuses them on legal outcomes, as though they are goals. It is also a trap question because it reframes a non-zero sum game into a zero sum game. […]

Ten Traps Series – Trap #3

“The other side wants . . .!” In prior blogs we focused on the fact that while people are rational, they can be trapped into making poor choices. The third trap is convincing people that they have a dispute with the other parent. The assumption that people going through a divorce have a legal dispute […]

Ten Traps Series – Trap #4

We began this series by focusing on how the legal system can trap people into self-defeating patterns of decision making: Trap #1 – distracting people from their life goals into thinking that legal outcomes are goals; Trap #2 – treating divorce as a zero sum game; Trap #3: the system assumes disputes and seduces divorcing […]

Ten Traps Series – Trap #5

In review, we have pointed out how the family law system unintentionally traps people into making poor decisions and have detailed four of those traps: Trap #1 – distracting people from their life goals into thinking that legal outcomes are goals; Trap #2 – treating divorce as a zero sum game; Trap #3: the system […]

Ten Traps Series – Trap #6

Trap #6: Winning on legal outcomes is most important. Playing a game with someone is fun, win or lose, but it is more fun to win. Evolution selected humans who win and who have a natural desire to prevail, whether in enjoyable activities like tennis or serious activities like battle to the death. The traditional […]

Ten Traps Series – Trap #7

In prior blogs in this series, we wrote about the natural desire to prevail against perceived rivals and the potential use of game theory to understand obstacles in the current legal system as it takes families through separations and divorce. We next focused on how the legal system can trap people into self-defeating patterns of […]