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The Incompatibility Gap: But Are We Really Incompatible
Every spouse is incompatible with every other spouse. However, this does not rule out that spouses, who see themselves as incompatible with one another, can have a successful marriage. There are two types of incompatibility, both of which can come up at any time in a marriage. A problem with no solution Daryl and Margie […]
Marriage Series: “No, You’re Wrong” Disagreeing About Who Is Right
…There is a tale worth remembering There was a Monk in Thailand known for his goodness, knowledge and wisdom. Because of this, people living in the area often turn to him to resolve disputes. Two farmers come to him with a dispute over the boundaries on their land and access to water from the stream […]
Marriage Series: What is Wrong with Lying (…if you can get away with it)
In order to answer this question, we need to first ask and answer other questions. Please read on! What is a lie? The answer to this question might seem obvious to most people. A lie is when a person tells someone, or many people, something that is not true. However, we must add that for […]
Marriage Series: How You Define a Marital Disagreement Matters
As we point out in another blog in the Marriage Series, Marital Partners Have Differences and Disagreements, disagreements in a marriage, or even before a marriage, are unavoidable. People have differences that lead to disagreements. They might be as unimportant as what movie to go to, but eventually can be very important, such as a […]
Marriage Series: “Can My Marriage Be Saved?”
Spouses asking that question usually deserve a “yes” answer. The question suggests that, while the marriage might have serious problems, the spouses are still hopeful and motivated. It is when spouses reach the point of not really caring anymore for one another or not caring whether the marriage ends. When this happens, they do not […]
Marriage Series: Apologize! “… But I Didn’t Do Anything Wrong!”
There is an idea in our modern understanding of human feelings called reciprocal altruism. This basically means that people, consciously or unconsciously, keep score with others regarding times that a kindness is shown, a favor is done and so on. If about as many good things are done in both directions, the relationship feels balanced, […]
After Your First Argument: Marital Partners Have Differences and Disagreements
Some differences between marital parties, people planning to marry and people already married, greatly enhance the relationship and complement each other well. One loves to cook, and the other doesn’t mind doing dishes. Some of those differences do not affect the marriage negatively. One likes to socialize with friends, and the other is a homebody. […]
Marriage Series: Discussions to Have Before Marriage: 1. Having Children and Parenting Styles
Most people discussing marriage will address the big question: Will we have children together? This often includes picking a number of children as a goal. Differences here might even be a major obstacle to getting married. This is an essential start to a marriage, that is, to have an agreement on whether or not to […]
Marriage Series: Discussions to have – before marriage: 2. Money, spending habits, debt and property
The most common topic people discuss before marriage addresses the question: Will we have children together? This often includes agreeing on a number of children as a goal. Blog 2 in this Marriage Series addresses this subject. However, another important discussion to have before marriage is about money, debt and property. The first reason for […]
Marriage Series: Discussions to Have Before Marriage: 3. Extended Families – the in-laws
The first blog in this series addressed discussing children and the second blog discussing the handling of money, debt, budgeting and future financial goals. The reasons for these discussions is because differences between potential spouses can bring with them significant future disagreements and can even be deal-breakers. Better to identify potential trouble spots in advance […]