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Getting Perspective on Being Divorced Parents – 4. Listening to Friends and Family
Introduction. In Blog 1 of this Series, Getting a Perspective on Being Divorced Parents, we introduced both the importance of and the challenges to getting a broader perspective on a healthy co-parenting relationship. In Blog #2, we asked you, not only to be curious but also use your imagination. In Blog 3, we asked you […]
Getting Perspective on Being Divorced Parents – 5. Listening to and Learning from Your Children – Now
In this Series on getting a perspective on your co-parenting relationship, we not only introduced the need to use imagination but also the need to get information from others (Blog #2). We asked you to imagine your grown children as adults and imagine their perspective on growing up in your family (Blog #3). We also […]
Getting Perspective on Being Divorced Parents – 6. Your Co-parenting Partner (CPP) – the Other Parent
In this Series on getting perspective on being divorced parents, we introduced not only the need to use imagination but also the need to get information from others (Blog 2). We asked you to imagine your grown children as adults and imagine their perspective on growing up in your family (Blog 3). We also asked […]
Getting Perspective on Being Divorced Parents – 7. The Five Tasks of a Healthy Co-parenting Relationship
Once you have a perspective on being divorced parents, you can now begin to propose doing the five tasks that successful co-parents do: Share information, Build in flexibility in the custody schedule and create easy access between the parents and the children, Coordinate the two homes to be similar, Plan child-friendly transitions from home […]
Co-parenting Series – Do You Want a Happy Baby
Most people who divorce would like their children to be happy. However, more important than being happy, most parents would rather that, when grown, their children lead successful lives: that they have a career or job that works for them; that they are socially successful with friends; that they get into a relationship that leads […]
Ten Traps Series – Why Do People Sometimes Make Terrible choices?
Why do people sometimes make choices that are self-defeating? In our recent book, Game Theory and the Transformation of Family Law, Attorney Allan Koritzinsky and Ken Waldron suggest bargaining founded on game theory. But why game theory? Game theory is a branch of mathematics that analyzes how and why people make the choices that they make. […]
Ten Traps Series -Trap # 1
Trap #1: In the traditional family law system, the parties are directed to and often pressured to focus on legal outcomes, not life goals. Legal outcomes are not goals. Legal outcomes should be tools for the parties to reach their goals. If focused on the legal outcome, it makes sense that a property distribution should […]
Ten Traps Series – Trap #2
“What custody schedule do you want?” In a prior blog, we noted that this is a trick question because it distracts people from their life goals and focuses them on legal outcomes, as though they are goals. It is also a trap question because it reframes a non-zero sum game into a zero sum game. […]
Ten Traps Series – Trap #3
“The other side wants . . .!” In prior blogs we focused on the fact that while people are rational, they can be trapped into making poor choices. The third trap is convincing people that they have a dispute with the other parent. The assumption that people going through a divorce have a legal dispute […]
Ten Traps Series – Trap #4
We began this series by focusing on how the legal system can trap people into self-defeating patterns of decision making: Trap #1 – distracting people from their life goals into thinking that legal outcomes are goals; Trap #2 – treating divorce as a zero sum game; Trap #3: the system assumes disputes and seduces divorcing […]