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Marriage Series: Discussions to Have Before Marriage: 1. Having Children and Parenting Styles
Most people discussing marriage will address the big question: Will we have children together? This often includes picking a number of children as a goal. Differences here might even be a major obstacle to getting married. This is an essential start to a marriage, that is, to have an agreement on whether or not to […]
Marriage Series: Discussions to have – before marriage: 2. Money, spending habits, debt and property
The most common topic people discuss before marriage addresses the question: Will we have children together? This often includes agreeing on a number of children as a goal. Blog 2 in this Marriage Series addresses this subject. However, another important discussion to have before marriage is about money, debt and property. The first reason for […]
Marriage Series: Discussions to Have Before Marriage: 3. Extended Families – the in-laws
The first blog in this series addressed discussing children and the second blog discussing the handling of money, debt, budgeting and future financial goals. The reasons for these discussions is because differences between potential spouses can bring with them significant future disagreements and can even be deal-breakers. Better to identify potential trouble spots in advance […]
Marriage Series: Discussions to Have Before Marriage 4. Where to Live and Work
Before marriage, issues such as where to live and work might or might not involve major differences between potential spouses. By the time they agree to marry, they might well have already chosen an area in which to live and might already be employed. However, they might not yet be settled in a place or […]
Marriage Series Discussions to Have Before Marriage 5. Deal Breakers
Some married people get divorces. As Allan sometimes likes to say, a little tongue in cheek, “The first step to a divorce is marriage.” The primary reason that people divorce is complicated and will be the topic of our next and final blog in this series on Discussions to Have Before Marriage. In brief, spouses […]
Marriage Series: Discussions to Have Before Marriage 6. Political Disagreements
It seems like a very mundane topic to talk about politics when you are excited about getting married, but it can become a serious problem in marriage if you do not plan for it. The problem is tribalism. Throughout the history of mankind, friction between people’s beliefs have caused everything from wars, horrible levels of […]
Marriage Series: Discussions to Have Before Marriage 7. When Disagreements Become Arguments
In this blog, we introduce the most common reason that a marriage moves from a positive experience to a frustratingly negative one. Some spouses ultimately live with a cold war or repeated arguments. Others get a divorce. First, a brief history. In most cultures around the world, disagreements were resolved by designating a final decision-maker, […]
Getting Perspective on Being Divorced Parents – 1. Introduction
Introduction and Purpose. In a different Blog Series on this site, specifically Blog #8 of the Skill Building Series, we highlighted the importance of being able to understand the perspective of others. This is the ability to step outside of your current situation and see yourself, your co-parent and your children objectively. It is also […]
Getting Perspective on Being Divorced Parents – 2. The Use of Imagination
Introduction. In Blog 1 of this Series, Getting Perspective on Being Divorced Parents, we introduced both the importance of and the challenges to getting a broader perspective on a healthy co-parenting relationship. We hope we were clear on the benefits of doing so. We gave you homework: to make a list of people who might […]
Getting Perspective on Being Divorced Parents – 3. Looking Back as Adult Children
Introduction. In Blog 1 of this Series, Getting Perspective on Being Divorced Parents, we introduced both the importance of and the challenges to getting a broader perspective on a healthy co-parenting relationship. We hope we were clear on the benefits of doing so. We encouraged you to be curious and be willing to change your […]